No one loves Christmas time more than me.
Trust me on this.
Which is why I get a lot of smirks and pffs when I say this, but...don't decorate for Christmas before you've had your turkey, stuffing, and homemade orange-cranberry sauce infused with rosemary oil. Why? I'll give you 5 reasons:
1) It's rude to Thanksgiving. That's right, you heard me. What did Thanksgiving ever do to you? There it is, silently tucked between two loudmouths, Halloween and Christmas, quietly waiting to be acknowledged for its elegant splendor, call to gratitude, and oh, yeah...uniquely American origins, and you're just going to skip it?? How unpatriotic is that??
2) Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. This parade has been going on since 1924 and was only cancelled for three years during World War II. It boasts giant balloon favorites, such as Snoopy (if you haven't introduced your kids to Snoopy, Charlie Brown, and the Peanuts Gang yet, do it now before they discover it for themselves and hate you for only feeding them SpongeBob and Dora the Explorer), Spider-Man, Hello Kitty, Papa Smurf, and oh, yeah, SpongeBob. It also features dozens of floats, Broadway performances, and my favorite as a former dance/color guard captain--award-winning marching bands from across the U.S. (even though one girl always drops her rifle or wraps her flag right in front of the camera...sigh). It's the best thing about Thanksgiving morning, and I make my kids watch it every year. Yes, MAKE THEM, because if you don't, they will just go back to their xBox's and never appreciate tradition.
3) Football. I mean, hello. Even if you don't like football, you're going to try and tell me that you don't love sitting in your backyard, watching men be men, fighting over a leather ball all sweaty amidst golden and pumpkin colored leaves raining to the ground on a blustery day? Forget being gay or straight...are you even human?
4) Vegetables. As a new vegan, I can tell you that for years, I did not know how to eat vegetables, but thanks to Thanksgiving, I at least got some in my body in years past. Sure, they get mashed up, sugar added, butter added, cream added, and whatever, but still, they're delicious! When else can you eat pecan-crusted sweet potato casserole, bacon and mushroom green beans, and corn f&$kin muffins, bitches??? Yeah, yeah, you can eat them any time of year, but they don't taste as awesome as they do on Thanksgiving.
5) Because waiting delays gratification. Sure, you CAN put up Christmas decorations right after Halloween, but why?? Seriously, WHY???? So that by the time the big day finally arrives, 55 days later, the branches of your dead Christmas tree are scraping the floor, you hate Bing Crosby, cinnamon, peppermint mochas, and every beautiful thing about the holiday that's supposed to be joyful? Is that what you want, to hate Christmas by the time it arrives? But most of all, because we're so used to getting everything we want right NOW. You want a song? Boom, download it to your iPhone, 1 min. You want a movie? Bam, stream it on your Netflix, 30 sec. You want coffee? Look, there's a Starbucks Drive-Thru, and look, you can even pay with your Starbucks app right off your phone, you don't even have to pull out actual money from your wallet, or fish around in your purse for your wallet in the first place. You can get everything you want bang, boom, pow now! But November and Thanksgiving are there for a reason, people.
To SLOW YOU DOWN so you can ENJOY each holiday for what makes it special.
Slow down and Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
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